I had been meditating for about 9 months at this point. Not as much as I wanted too though. On this night I was well rested and not fatigued. I was laying on my back with my arms at my side. Focusing on different things, my breathing, the sensation of my toes, the air as it passes over my lips and out my nose. I was having a good session this night. I was pleased with how easily I was able to quiet my mind. How small I could imagine it. How infinitely small I could focus that energy.
This point was centered in my chest. Decided to go the opposite way too. How large must my energy extend past my body. My heat, my frequency, my brain waves. I juggled these two back and forth. How small, how large. At one point I thought I could fill the entire universe with my energy. And another, like I vanished into nothingness.
To this day I wish I had a camera in the room. Hard to explain. Not sure if the vibration was internal, or something that could have been observed from the outside. This really freaked me out. Almost to the point that it was about to break my meditative state.
So I went back to focusing on my energy, keeping my mind as blank as possible. The vibration just got more and more intense. Well, I popped, then hovered just above my body. The vibration stopped immediately. The exhilaration was almost too much. I tried to stay focused, and just take everything in. I started to examine my surrounding and myself. My body was not really a body anymore. I was this pale white light. With 5 appendages. I had these arms, but they tapered off and never formed any hands.
Same thing for my legs. With no real features too it. I could feel everything in the room. Anything I focused on, and it felt like I knew the entire makeup and lifespan of the object. I was still hovering just above my body. That is when I realized somethingβ¦. I was not of any gender. I just was. I had no genitalia at all. No penis, no vagina. No nothing. Well, this set my mind racing.
